How to see a monster

A tourist asks the guide:
“When does the Loch-Ness monster show up?”
“Usually after the fifth shot of whisky.

My cooking sucks!

Don’t drink too much

The Marrying Woman

A Hollywood actress married her fifth husband, this one a French artist. The next day, reporters asked her,
“So, are you happy with your latest choice?”
“Oh, yes!” she replied. “From now on, I’m only going to marry French artists.”

Toolkit for blondes

Good job

“What do you do for a living?”
“I pack parachutes.”
“That’s not an easy job. How do you manage it?”
“Very well, I think. No one’s ever complained about my work.”

Puma logo live

Slice a bit, please

A customer asks the butcher:
“I’d like 5 grams of sausage, please.”
“Are you mocking me?” says the butcher.
“Not a bit! If I was mocking you, I’d ask you to slice it.”

Streamlight dog

Amazing pocket flash ad.

Group sex

The door bell is ringing. A neighbor stays on the porch with a pen and piece of paper in his hands.
- Would you like to participate in a group sex? – he asks a man who opened the door.
- And who gonna be in that group?
- I have you, your wife and myself [...]